I am usually a very positive, purposed and aggressive person, in my both my past life as my born gender and now in my chosen gender. These things will always be me.

It is now December 18, 2010, one week before a joyous and happy holidays season. This is my 2nd year into my transition journey of many years to come. I am a 57 y/o transsexual female and proud of it and my strong beliefs have come over years of life's experiences. So I can be diplomatic as well as plain out blunt.

The reason I write my thoughts are so that all of you can understand the years of turmoil and stress my life has been. The struggles, successes and failures that come with life as a transsexual, always remaining strong in the hope and determination that we all must possess to find ourselves.

But today my life has brought me to a low point emotionally.

Making a decision that effects those around us is hard enough, but when you have to stand and watch your biological family reject you. The memories of seeing, holding or talking to my grand children is gone.

My thoughts tonight are saddened by that reality.

Love you all.
Renae