The last 8 weeks have been a complete hell for me, a Transsexual Female for 3 years, as a mommy (grandpa) to two girls and being the husband to a loving wife who had a severe mental collapse. Ambulance had to take her to the emergency room at the local hospital with my 2 girls we have custody when she raised a huge ruckus in church 8 weeks ago now.
So many delusional thoughts and allegations flew from her mouth I had to have the house inspected by the Police and the State Child Placement lady. Thank goodness not one of them had any issues with my Transgender appearance, so they said I should take the girls home while they got my wife some help. The girls clung to me the entire time scared that they would be placed in foster care 'again' in their short years here on earth.
For the last 3 years I have had them in my life I have been open to the entire community. I have cared for the youngest, 3 years old, since she was just a baby. I am who she trusts for everything.
What happens when after 30 days in a State Mental Hospital and when she returns, she remains delusional for the next 4 weeks off and on? Moment by moment you walk along watching, listening for signs what is happening in her mind while I care for 2 girls, 3 and 5 years old.
This was moment for me to be 'a strong woman' who protected her innocents from all harm. During her stay I was threatened twice by her ex-husband that my Transgender status was inappropriate raising his grand children. This man found out how mean a mom can get when her cubs safety are threatened. Short version; he isn't going to do it again.
To date since she has returned; she has asked me to leave 3 times, one 'I don't love you anymore now that you have chosen to become female' each time I refused, plus disappeared with the girls sparking me to alert the local police who set in motion a Statewide search. All ended well when her daughter brought her and the girls home 12 hours later.
Why do I stay? Because I started out loving this woman in 1996, moved in with her in 1998 and now have 2 girls I love more than my life literally. My heart would have been broken. That was in the last 3 weeks. Yesterday she announced I could stay, she loved me and we would talk about the future later.
Here is how I feel right now. Numb.
Showing posts with label human behavior. Show all posts
Showing posts with label human behavior. Show all posts
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Monday, March 29, 2010
knowing a person is knowing what that person wants you to know.
I have lived many views of life, boy, girl, man, woman and each one of them has given me insight into many experiences. Today I watched 'The Secret' twice and will watch one more time before I go to bed for the night. I highly recommend it to everyone it will change the way you think, it has mine.
"Every thought of yours is a real thing -- A force." ~Prentice Mulford~ (1834 - 1891)
I have talked about this so many times before and I will continue to try to explain and share my thoughts. We all are unique individuals with unique life's experiences, no one person is the same as the next. We were raised in different demographics, value systems, educational institutions and social and economic environments that affected us uniquely as individuals. The one thing we all have in common is thought and we only control our thoughts. During childhood until leaving home we have been influenced by all of those factors in a unique way. Some may not have had a parent or parents, maybe one or both were there but did not, either by omission or commission, give us proper or incomplete guidance. The end result is who we have become today, it was our interpretation of those influences that set our mind to it's current thinking.
The movie 'The Secret' illustrates how all things have an energy that emanates all around us from others and ourselves as we interact. We are bound together in so many ways that it is impossible to act without an equal action occurring whether it result in a positive or negative. Albert Einstein's 'Theory of Relativity' opens up quantum physics to include the very cohesiveness and symbiotic relationship that energy plays in everything. In that same mode we, all of us, exist in the same cohesiveness and symbiotic relationship.
As for reason I chose the title of this blog, as we matured in life we made adjustments in our thinking. Make no mistake, these adjustments are positive or negative depending on how we were affected by our experiences. But these adjustments were our responsibility and we are accountable for what we reaped. Many things became hidden from others in preference to decisions we make to adapt ourselves to our current life. We only allow others to know what we want others to know.
Historically speaking for the most part we are a race of violence and suppressors of the masses and I wonder if we can ever break that most evil of intents, greed.
In my life I have served youth because youth is always our future and what we do now determines what they think and do in the future. That, in the most urgent of ways, puts each of us responsible and accountable for what we leave them. In our head long race to 'get' we leave a void for them to understand and that is that there is a law of thought. That law is called 'attraction'. We attract what we think about most.
~Dr. Joe Vitale~ 'Metaphysician, Marketing specialist, and Author'
"Thoughts are sending out that magnetic signal that is drawing the parallel back to you."
~ Charles Hannel~ (1866 - 1949) 'The master key system'
"The predominate thought or the mental attitude is the magnet, and the law is that like attracts like, consequently, the mental attitude will invariably attract such conditions as correspond to it's nature."
~Dr. Joe Vitale~ Metaphysician, Marketing specialist, and Author'
"You are a human transmission tower, and you are more powerful than any television tower created on earth. You are the most powerful transmission tower in the Universe. Your transmission creates your life and it creates the world. The frequency you transmit reaches beyond cities, beyond countries, beyond the world. I reverberates throughout the entire Universe. And you are transmitting that frequency with you thoughts!"
~ Charles Hannel~ (1866 - 1949) 'The master key system'
"The vibrations of mental forces are the finest and consequently the most powerful in existence."
If we evaluate 'history' it is plain to see if we intend our thoughts to mold and create the future, we have an important need to agree and understand just what that future should be.
~Bob Proctor~ 'Philosopher, Author, and Personal coach'
"The law of attraction is always working, whether you believe it or understand it or not."
~Lisa Nichols~ 'Author and Personal empowerment advocate'
"you are the designer of your destiny. You are the author. You write the story. The pen is in your hand, and the outcome is whatever you choose."
One last thing, opportunity is what you make of it, seize it or pass it by, a personal choice. And finally the words of one of the most successful and important figures in American history.
~Henry Ford~ (1863 - 1947)
"Whether you think you can or think you can't, either way you are right."
***** All excerpts and quotes were read into this blog from the book 'The Secret' by ~Rhonda Byrne~ *****
"Every thought of yours is a real thing -- A force." ~Prentice Mulford~ (1834 - 1891)
I have talked about this so many times before and I will continue to try to explain and share my thoughts. We all are unique individuals with unique life's experiences, no one person is the same as the next. We were raised in different demographics, value systems, educational institutions and social and economic environments that affected us uniquely as individuals. The one thing we all have in common is thought and we only control our thoughts. During childhood until leaving home we have been influenced by all of those factors in a unique way. Some may not have had a parent or parents, maybe one or both were there but did not, either by omission or commission, give us proper or incomplete guidance. The end result is who we have become today, it was our interpretation of those influences that set our mind to it's current thinking.
The movie 'The Secret' illustrates how all things have an energy that emanates all around us from others and ourselves as we interact. We are bound together in so many ways that it is impossible to act without an equal action occurring whether it result in a positive or negative. Albert Einstein's 'Theory of Relativity' opens up quantum physics to include the very cohesiveness and symbiotic relationship that energy plays in everything. In that same mode we, all of us, exist in the same cohesiveness and symbiotic relationship.
As for reason I chose the title of this blog, as we matured in life we made adjustments in our thinking. Make no mistake, these adjustments are positive or negative depending on how we were affected by our experiences. But these adjustments were our responsibility and we are accountable for what we reaped. Many things became hidden from others in preference to decisions we make to adapt ourselves to our current life. We only allow others to know what we want others to know.
Historically speaking for the most part we are a race of violence and suppressors of the masses and I wonder if we can ever break that most evil of intents, greed.
In my life I have served youth because youth is always our future and what we do now determines what they think and do in the future. That, in the most urgent of ways, puts each of us responsible and accountable for what we leave them. In our head long race to 'get' we leave a void for them to understand and that is that there is a law of thought. That law is called 'attraction'. We attract what we think about most.
~Dr. Joe Vitale~ 'Metaphysician, Marketing specialist, and Author'
"Thoughts are sending out that magnetic signal that is drawing the parallel back to you."
~ Charles Hannel~ (1866 - 1949) 'The master key system'
"The predominate thought or the mental attitude is the magnet, and the law is that like attracts like, consequently, the mental attitude will invariably attract such conditions as correspond to it's nature."
~Dr. Joe Vitale~ Metaphysician, Marketing specialist, and Author'
"You are a human transmission tower, and you are more powerful than any television tower created on earth. You are the most powerful transmission tower in the Universe. Your transmission creates your life and it creates the world. The frequency you transmit reaches beyond cities, beyond countries, beyond the world. I reverberates throughout the entire Universe. And you are transmitting that frequency with you thoughts!"
~ Charles Hannel~ (1866 - 1949) 'The master key system'
"The vibrations of mental forces are the finest and consequently the most powerful in existence."
If we evaluate 'history' it is plain to see if we intend our thoughts to mold and create the future, we have an important need to agree and understand just what that future should be.
~Bob Proctor~ 'Philosopher, Author, and Personal coach'
"The law of attraction is always working, whether you believe it or understand it or not."
~Lisa Nichols~ 'Author and Personal empowerment advocate'
"you are the designer of your destiny. You are the author. You write the story. The pen is in your hand, and the outcome is whatever you choose."
One last thing, opportunity is what you make of it, seize it or pass it by, a personal choice. And finally the words of one of the most successful and important figures in American history.
~Henry Ford~ (1863 - 1947)
"Whether you think you can or think you can't, either way you are right."
***** All excerpts and quotes were read into this blog from the book 'The Secret' by ~Rhonda Byrne~ *****
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)