Schizophrenic and Transsexual in the same lifetime.

In this blog I hope to shed some light on being Schizophrenic and Transsexual at the same time. These are issues I have had to deal with for most of my life. As I've said before I decided about six years ago to make my life and thoughts an open book, not only for Therapeutic value for me but perhaps for others too. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as it gives me pleasure to write. I'd love to see some comments from those of you who take the time to read my Life's experience and thoughts.

Peace and Love to all mankind. 'Live to Love, Love to Live'.

Schizophrenia

Transsexual MTF

My first real memory of consciousness that I was different from other boys was when I was nine years old. This is when I had my first sexual act with another boy as I had developed a real interest in dressing, as often as I could, as a girl. It would not be until I was thirteen years old that I started showing the classic signs of Schizophrenia and another three years that I realized I truly wanted to be a girl in every way. Schizophrenia and Transsexualism became something to deny, those were the years between 1962 - 1969. Social culture was not anywhere it is today so I began living a dual life, one to be a boy in duties and actions and the other, wanting to be a girl hidden deeper inside. If you can imagine living in a dream interacting with another dream, that is where my thoughts were going. Of course there were interruptions in my purposeful life, like age fourteen when I had to get a part-time job to help with finances because my parents had divorced when I was twelve years old. My first job, my mother found it for me, was clearing land of unneeded trees and shrubs for a nine hole expansion on a local golf course. For weeks I came home with blistered and bloody hands. This wasn't supposed to be me!!

You, hopefully will understand by age 14 and 15 I was really getting confused.

In my next blog I will get more detailed form age 15 to now and how I see myself and have matured with that knowledge now firmly planted, believed and accepted.

Renae Michele

LOVE TO LIVE, LIVE TO LOVE!
Peace.

Gender Dysphoria

When I saw this video of a young Transsexual girl being attacked in a McDonald's Restaurant yesterday I was struck by the fear, sadness and anger she felt.

Society is so messed up and yet this is supposed to be the most Liberal America has ever been.

So much violence, over what? Someone living their dream their reality. Exercising her right in this Free Country to claim her Constitutional guarantee of 'Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness'.

I was born in 1953 and discovered I was Transsexual when I turned 8. That was 1961 and had anyone known my hidden desires I would have been labeled a 'queer' and subject to a harsh life as this young girl is today.

It doesn't seem we've come far enough, does it?

Personal plea to America

I love my Country first, my Transgender status second, why?

This is the greatest Country on Earth bar none and I will not standby and watch it ruined by any politician, political party or the MYTH of Social Justice.

I have lived for 55 yrs as a male, troubled by the knowledge that something was wrong with me. When I made my decision to become the woman I always I knew I should have been, I didn't abandon my love for Freedom and Justice that our forefathers gave us. I didn't expect someone to hand my new me on a silver platter, rather I knew it would be an upward battle as my whole career and personal life had been.

Please read my next blog and understand what I stand for: Freedom to choose who I want to be without fear of repercussion from those that see me as immoral or a freak. I have grown past those individuals, I do not condemn them for their beliefs and I expect the same respect in kind.

This is and I hope will always be a Free Nation where we can live together in Harmony and Peace. We have made huge strides to that end, but now is not the time to 'Fundamentally Change America', rather it is a time for us to unite and take back a Government gone crazy with corruption and influenced by special interest groups.

Peace, Love and Respect to each of you!