In this blog I hope to shed some light on being Schizophrenic and Transsexual at the same time. These are issues I have had to deal with for most of my life. As I've said before I decided about six years ago to make my life and thoughts an open book, not only for Therapeutic value for me but perhaps for others too. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as it gives me pleasure to write. I'd love to see some comments from those of you who take the time to read my Life's experience and thoughts.
Peace and Love to all mankind. 'Live to Love, Love to Live'.
Schizophrenia
Transsexual MTF
My first real memory of consciousness that I was different from other boys was when I was nine years old. This is when I had my first sexual act with another boy as I had developed a real interest in dressing, as often as I could, as a girl. It would not be until I was thirteen years old that I started showing the classic signs of Schizophrenia and another three years that I realized I truly wanted to be a girl in every way. Schizophrenia and Transsexualism became something to deny, those were the years between 1962 - 1969. Social culture was not anywhere it is today so I began living a dual life, one to be a boy in duties and actions and the other, wanting to be a girl hidden deeper inside. If you can imagine living in a dream interacting with another dream, that is where my thoughts were going. Of course there were interruptions in my purposeful life, like age fourteen when I had to get a part-time job to help with finances because my parents had divorced when I was twelve years old. My first job, my mother found it for me, was clearing land of unneeded trees and shrubs for a nine hole expansion on a local golf course. For weeks I came home with blistered and bloody hands. This wasn't supposed to be me!!
You, hopefully will understand by age 14 and 15 I was really getting confused.
In my next blog I will get more detailed form age 15 to now and how I see myself and have matured with that knowledge now firmly planted, believed and accepted.
Renae Michele
LOVE TO LIVE, LIVE TO LOVE!
Peace.
Showing posts with label positive mind. Show all posts
Showing posts with label positive mind. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Monday, April 26, 2010
Becoming what we pass on.
~~The 12 Laws of Karma~~
~The Great Law~
As you sow, so shall you reap.
This is also known as the Law of Cause and Effect.
Whatever we put out in our Universe is what comes back to us.
If what we want is Happiness, Peace, Friendship, Love….
Then we should be Happy, Peaceful, Loving and a Friend.
~The Law of Creation~
Life doesn't just Happen, it requires our participation.
We are one with the Universe both inside and out.
Whatever surrounds us gives us clues to our inner state.
BE and DO yourself….
Do what you want to have in your life.
~The Law of Humanity~
What you refuse to accept, will continue for you.
If what we see is an enemy, or someone with a character trait that we find to be negative, then we ourselves are not focused on a higher level of existence.
~The Law of Growth~
Wherever you go, there you are.
For us to grow in Spirit it is We who must change and not the people, places or things around us.
The only given we have in our lives is OURSELVES and that is the only factor we have control over.
When we change who and what we are within our heart our life changes too.
~The Law of Responsibility~
Whenever there is something wrong.
There is something wrong with us.
We mirror what surrounds us and what surrounds us mirrors us.
We must take responsibility for what is in our life.
~The Law of Connection~
Even if something we do seems inconsequential, it is very important that it gets done as everything in the Universe is connected.
Each step leads to the next step and so forth and so on.
Someone must do the initial work to get job done.
Neither the first step nor the last are of greater significance.
They were both needed to accomplish the task.
Past, Present, Future.
They are all connected.
~The Law of Focus~
You can't think of two things at the same time.
When our Focus is on Spiritual Values it is impossible for us to have lower thoughts as greed or anger.
~The Law of Giving and Hospitality~
If you believe something to be true, then sometime in your life you will be called to demonstrate that truth.
Here is where we put what we SAY that we have Learned into Practice.
~The Law of Here and Now~
Looking back to examine what was, prevents us from totally in the HERE AND NOW.
Old thoughts, old patterns of behavior, old dreams….
Prevent us from having new ones.
~The Law of Change~
History repeats itself until we learn the lessons that we need to change our path.
~The Law of Patience and Reward~
All Rewards require initial toil.
Rewards of lasting Value require patient and persistent toil.
True Joy Follows.
~The Law of Significance and Inspiration~
You get back from something whatever you've put into it.
The value of something is a direct result of the energy and intent that is put into it.
~The Great Law~
As you sow, so shall you reap.
This is also known as the Law of Cause and Effect.
Whatever we put out in our Universe is what comes back to us.
If what we want is Happiness, Peace, Friendship, Love….
Then we should be Happy, Peaceful, Loving and a Friend.
~The Law of Creation~
Life doesn't just Happen, it requires our participation.
We are one with the Universe both inside and out.
Whatever surrounds us gives us clues to our inner state.
BE and DO yourself….
Do what you want to have in your life.
~The Law of Humanity~
What you refuse to accept, will continue for you.
If what we see is an enemy, or someone with a character trait that we find to be negative, then we ourselves are not focused on a higher level of existence.
~The Law of Growth~
Wherever you go, there you are.
For us to grow in Spirit it is We who must change and not the people, places or things around us.
The only given we have in our lives is OURSELVES and that is the only factor we have control over.
When we change who and what we are within our heart our life changes too.
~The Law of Responsibility~
Whenever there is something wrong.
There is something wrong with us.
We mirror what surrounds us and what surrounds us mirrors us.
We must take responsibility for what is in our life.
~The Law of Connection~
Even if something we do seems inconsequential, it is very important that it gets done as everything in the Universe is connected.
Each step leads to the next step and so forth and so on.
Someone must do the initial work to get job done.
Neither the first step nor the last are of greater significance.
They were both needed to accomplish the task.
Past, Present, Future.
They are all connected.
~The Law of Focus~
You can't think of two things at the same time.
When our Focus is on Spiritual Values it is impossible for us to have lower thoughts as greed or anger.
~The Law of Giving and Hospitality~
If you believe something to be true, then sometime in your life you will be called to demonstrate that truth.
Here is where we put what we SAY that we have Learned into Practice.
~The Law of Here and Now~
Looking back to examine what was, prevents us from totally in the HERE AND NOW.
Old thoughts, old patterns of behavior, old dreams….
Prevent us from having new ones.
~The Law of Change~
History repeats itself until we learn the lessons that we need to change our path.
~The Law of Patience and Reward~
All Rewards require initial toil.
Rewards of lasting Value require patient and persistent toil.
True Joy Follows.
~The Law of Significance and Inspiration~
You get back from something whatever you've put into it.
The value of something is a direct result of the energy and intent that is put into it.
Monday, March 29, 2010
knowing a person is knowing what that person wants you to know.
I have lived many views of life, boy, girl, man, woman and each one of them has given me insight into many experiences. Today I watched 'The Secret' twice and will watch one more time before I go to bed for the night. I highly recommend it to everyone it will change the way you think, it has mine.
"Every thought of yours is a real thing -- A force." ~Prentice Mulford~ (1834 - 1891)
I have talked about this so many times before and I will continue to try to explain and share my thoughts. We all are unique individuals with unique life's experiences, no one person is the same as the next. We were raised in different demographics, value systems, educational institutions and social and economic environments that affected us uniquely as individuals. The one thing we all have in common is thought and we only control our thoughts. During childhood until leaving home we have been influenced by all of those factors in a unique way. Some may not have had a parent or parents, maybe one or both were there but did not, either by omission or commission, give us proper or incomplete guidance. The end result is who we have become today, it was our interpretation of those influences that set our mind to it's current thinking.
The movie 'The Secret' illustrates how all things have an energy that emanates all around us from others and ourselves as we interact. We are bound together in so many ways that it is impossible to act without an equal action occurring whether it result in a positive or negative. Albert Einstein's 'Theory of Relativity' opens up quantum physics to include the very cohesiveness and symbiotic relationship that energy plays in everything. In that same mode we, all of us, exist in the same cohesiveness and symbiotic relationship.
As for reason I chose the title of this blog, as we matured in life we made adjustments in our thinking. Make no mistake, these adjustments are positive or negative depending on how we were affected by our experiences. But these adjustments were our responsibility and we are accountable for what we reaped. Many things became hidden from others in preference to decisions we make to adapt ourselves to our current life. We only allow others to know what we want others to know.
Historically speaking for the most part we are a race of violence and suppressors of the masses and I wonder if we can ever break that most evil of intents, greed.
In my life I have served youth because youth is always our future and what we do now determines what they think and do in the future. That, in the most urgent of ways, puts each of us responsible and accountable for what we leave them. In our head long race to 'get' we leave a void for them to understand and that is that there is a law of thought. That law is called 'attraction'. We attract what we think about most.
~Dr. Joe Vitale~ 'Metaphysician, Marketing specialist, and Author'
"Thoughts are sending out that magnetic signal that is drawing the parallel back to you."
~ Charles Hannel~ (1866 - 1949) 'The master key system'
"The predominate thought or the mental attitude is the magnet, and the law is that like attracts like, consequently, the mental attitude will invariably attract such conditions as correspond to it's nature."
~Dr. Joe Vitale~ Metaphysician, Marketing specialist, and Author'
"You are a human transmission tower, and you are more powerful than any television tower created on earth. You are the most powerful transmission tower in the Universe. Your transmission creates your life and it creates the world. The frequency you transmit reaches beyond cities, beyond countries, beyond the world. I reverberates throughout the entire Universe. And you are transmitting that frequency with you thoughts!"
~ Charles Hannel~ (1866 - 1949) 'The master key system'
"The vibrations of mental forces are the finest and consequently the most powerful in existence."
If we evaluate 'history' it is plain to see if we intend our thoughts to mold and create the future, we have an important need to agree and understand just what that future should be.
~Bob Proctor~ 'Philosopher, Author, and Personal coach'
"The law of attraction is always working, whether you believe it or understand it or not."
~Lisa Nichols~ 'Author and Personal empowerment advocate'
"you are the designer of your destiny. You are the author. You write the story. The pen is in your hand, and the outcome is whatever you choose."
One last thing, opportunity is what you make of it, seize it or pass it by, a personal choice. And finally the words of one of the most successful and important figures in American history.
~Henry Ford~ (1863 - 1947)
"Whether you think you can or think you can't, either way you are right."
***** All excerpts and quotes were read into this blog from the book 'The Secret' by ~Rhonda Byrne~ *****
"Every thought of yours is a real thing -- A force." ~Prentice Mulford~ (1834 - 1891)
I have talked about this so many times before and I will continue to try to explain and share my thoughts. We all are unique individuals with unique life's experiences, no one person is the same as the next. We were raised in different demographics, value systems, educational institutions and social and economic environments that affected us uniquely as individuals. The one thing we all have in common is thought and we only control our thoughts. During childhood until leaving home we have been influenced by all of those factors in a unique way. Some may not have had a parent or parents, maybe one or both were there but did not, either by omission or commission, give us proper or incomplete guidance. The end result is who we have become today, it was our interpretation of those influences that set our mind to it's current thinking.
The movie 'The Secret' illustrates how all things have an energy that emanates all around us from others and ourselves as we interact. We are bound together in so many ways that it is impossible to act without an equal action occurring whether it result in a positive or negative. Albert Einstein's 'Theory of Relativity' opens up quantum physics to include the very cohesiveness and symbiotic relationship that energy plays in everything. In that same mode we, all of us, exist in the same cohesiveness and symbiotic relationship.
As for reason I chose the title of this blog, as we matured in life we made adjustments in our thinking. Make no mistake, these adjustments are positive or negative depending on how we were affected by our experiences. But these adjustments were our responsibility and we are accountable for what we reaped. Many things became hidden from others in preference to decisions we make to adapt ourselves to our current life. We only allow others to know what we want others to know.
Historically speaking for the most part we are a race of violence and suppressors of the masses and I wonder if we can ever break that most evil of intents, greed.
In my life I have served youth because youth is always our future and what we do now determines what they think and do in the future. That, in the most urgent of ways, puts each of us responsible and accountable for what we leave them. In our head long race to 'get' we leave a void for them to understand and that is that there is a law of thought. That law is called 'attraction'. We attract what we think about most.
~Dr. Joe Vitale~ 'Metaphysician, Marketing specialist, and Author'
"Thoughts are sending out that magnetic signal that is drawing the parallel back to you."
~ Charles Hannel~ (1866 - 1949) 'The master key system'
"The predominate thought or the mental attitude is the magnet, and the law is that like attracts like, consequently, the mental attitude will invariably attract such conditions as correspond to it's nature."
~Dr. Joe Vitale~ Metaphysician, Marketing specialist, and Author'
"You are a human transmission tower, and you are more powerful than any television tower created on earth. You are the most powerful transmission tower in the Universe. Your transmission creates your life and it creates the world. The frequency you transmit reaches beyond cities, beyond countries, beyond the world. I reverberates throughout the entire Universe. And you are transmitting that frequency with you thoughts!"
~ Charles Hannel~ (1866 - 1949) 'The master key system'
"The vibrations of mental forces are the finest and consequently the most powerful in existence."
If we evaluate 'history' it is plain to see if we intend our thoughts to mold and create the future, we have an important need to agree and understand just what that future should be.
~Bob Proctor~ 'Philosopher, Author, and Personal coach'
"The law of attraction is always working, whether you believe it or understand it or not."
~Lisa Nichols~ 'Author and Personal empowerment advocate'
"you are the designer of your destiny. You are the author. You write the story. The pen is in your hand, and the outcome is whatever you choose."
One last thing, opportunity is what you make of it, seize it or pass it by, a personal choice. And finally the words of one of the most successful and important figures in American history.
~Henry Ford~ (1863 - 1947)
"Whether you think you can or think you can't, either way you are right."
***** All excerpts and quotes were read into this blog from the book 'The Secret' by ~Rhonda Byrne~ *****
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Sometimes it's from a child
Sitting with a 2 y/o can teach you unbelievable insights into innocence. Here I am at age 56 starting all over with 2 girls ages 2 and 4. Many of you may be able to identify with my experience. As I looked into her eyes and listened carefully as she formed her words of which she has many. Struggling with making a sentence she frowned as I helped her say the words. I was impressed with her persistence to tell me what she wanted me to do. When I was embroiled with my career I was not the lucky one to see those same efforts in my own children now grown with children of their own. Do I deserve this chance to love again, to teach and guide? Am I worthy to lead them into a better life? Will I be there to see their triumphs and sorrows? Age has taught me many lessons, the most immutable of all, Love.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Inner Peace
Everyday we feel the disturbance within our soul as we look out and see the suffering of others or perhaps ourselves. We face tough times trying to be or become ourselves, sometimes in a less than perfect situation. It might be family, friends, neighbors or the community.
Step back, take a deep breath, relax your mind and look back at the world and say 'I am only one person and I may not be able to do much to change the world, but I am one person and I can do something to change the world around me.'.
Look inside and forgive yourself of any guilt, forgive others that have harmed you and finally the next time you meet someone 'look inside of them not at them' and smile.
That smile will be 'ignite' another smile as they 'Pay it Forward' to others.
Listen to your soul sing as you walk away.
A light worker and angel of peace, become one and the world will see a new way forward.
Peace and Love to all!
Michele Renae Leah
Step back, take a deep breath, relax your mind and look back at the world and say 'I am only one person and I may not be able to do much to change the world, but I am one person and I can do something to change the world around me.'.
Look inside and forgive yourself of any guilt, forgive others that have harmed you and finally the next time you meet someone 'look inside of them not at them' and smile.
That smile will be 'ignite' another smile as they 'Pay it Forward' to others.
Listen to your soul sing as you walk away.
A light worker and angel of peace, become one and the world will see a new way forward.
Peace and Love to all!
Michele Renae Leah
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